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Punny Stuff!

1/1/2015

0 Comments

 
An hourglass is a waist of time.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. 

Too many little Digs sends a marriage to an early Grave. 

Beginning gardeners work by trowel and error. 

Love can be a touchy subject. 

When the fog burns off, it won't be mist. 

To some, marriage is a word; to others, a sentence. 

Never put all your begs in one ask-it. 

When a new hive is done, bees have a house swarming party. 
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March 18th, 2014

3/18/2014

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Paraprosdokians(Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
  1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.

 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put  'DOCTOR'.

 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy ..

 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

0 Comments

Fabulous Picture Collections

10/28/2013

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http://www.lovethesepics.com/

I found this site to be one of the most interesting picture collections on the internet. They are all high resolution photos, arranged by subject.

Give it a click, you'll be entertained for hours!

Click on the site logo to go the home page. Then scroll to the bottom to see all the categories.
0 Comments

September 27th, 2013

9/27/2013

0 Comments

 

Good example of a Brain Study:

If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, ways down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.

If you can read the following paragraphs in RED and BLACK below, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only very good minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.


If you can read this, you have a strange mind, too. Only 55 people out of 100 can.


I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it


FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT
Forward it & put 'YES' in the Subject Line.
Even if you are not old, you will find this interesting...


This is a TEST ---------------- Good Luck!!!
I don't know about the wishes but we can all use some brain exercise!!


How old are your eyes?
The Eye Test


Can you find
the B's
(there are 2 B's) DON'T skip, or your wish won't come True...


RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once you've found the B's
Find the 1
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1................
Find the 6


9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the 6...
Find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM


Once you've found the N...
Find the Q..


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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50 years of marriage .....

9/18/2013

2 Comments

 
A married couple in their early 70s are celebrating their  
50th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic  
Little restaurant.  

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.  
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married  
Couple and for being loving to each other for  
All this time, I will grant you each a wish.'  

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world  
With my darling husband.'  

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two  
Tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her  
Hands.  

The husband thought for a moment:  
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an  
Opportunity like this will never come again. I'm  
Sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30  
Years younger than me.'  

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed,  
But a wish is a wish. !   

So the fairy waved her magic wand and  
Poof!...  
The husband became 102 years old.  

The moral of this story:   
Men who are ungrateful should  
Remember fairies are female ..... 
2 Comments

Computer Tech Support

3/2/2013

0 Comments

 
I still get tech support calls from friends, thankfully not to many many like these -

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
****************************
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
****************************
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
****************************
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
****************************
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
****************************
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
****************************
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
****************************
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around                              it?
**************************** 
This one and the next are our personal favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
****************************
And last but not least!
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
0 Comments

Y Generation  

2/10/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
This sums it all up!
People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation..

People born between 1946 and 1959 are called The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1960 and 1980 are called Generation X, ....

And people born between 1981 and 2010 are called Generation Y ,

Why do we call the last group Generation Y?
Y should I get a job?
Y should I leave home and find my own place?
Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?
Y should I clean my room?
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
Y should I buy any food? 

0 Comments

Arctic Motion Time Lapse  

2/10/2013

0 Comments

 
Stunning arctic landscape video ..... 

Arctic Motion from Tor Even Mathisen on Vimeo.

For full screen click on 'Artic Motion' link above.         
0 Comments

Seniors & Golf carts  

2/10/2013

0 Comments

 
Seniors & Golf carts

 http://www.youtube.com/v/Qrpq5A-KAoA
0 Comments

Baby and momma bears

2/10/2013

0 Comments

 
See baby and momma bears with entertaining commentary by Rick Mercer.
http://algonquincanoeing.blogspot.com/2009/03/rick-mercer-visits-algonquin-park.html
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    When finished reading "Read More" use your Return key 

    If you have a favorite you would like to see here, please leave it in a comment

    "When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not."
    Mark Twain

    When women go wrong, men go right after them.
    Mae West

    Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
    Oscar Wilde


    Job Interview:

    Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

    Old Man : "Honesty."
     
    Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
     
    Old Man : "I don't really give a shit what you think."

    Picture
    HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

    -You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
    -- Alan, age 10

    -No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

    -- Kristen, age 10


    2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
    Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

    -- Camille, age 10


    3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

    You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

    -- Derrick, age 8


    4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
    Both don't want any more kids.

    -- Lori, age 8



    5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
    -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

    -- Lynnette, age 8
    (isn't she a treasure)

    -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

    -- Martin, age 10


    6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

    -When they're rich.

    -- Pam, age 7

    -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

    - - Curt, age 7

    -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

    - - Howard, age 8


    7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
    It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

    -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )


    8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
    There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

    -- Kelvin, age 8

    And the #1 Favorite is
    .......


    9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

    Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
    -- Ricky, age 10

    Paddy texts his wife: 

    “Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads.  If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.”


    Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.   He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. 
     
    "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
     
    "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney.   "Where are ye callin' from?"

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